A jam band, flexible travel and the art of uncertainty
Research & prepare, then let go, listen & respond
In 2011, on the final day of my freshman year of college, I laid on my dorm bed. My roommate and I had just finished moving out, but for some strange reason I stayed to soak up the thrilling scents and subtle sounds of my heavily abused dorm room one last time.
I looked up at the old paint on the ceiling, my body resting on the cold, bare mattress. I untangled my earbuds, turned on my iPod, and I listened to my first Phish show from front to back.
I dabbled in Phish before this, but I'd never listened to a full show with intention and focus. This was my aha moment. It was the most unique and beautiful rock music my young drummer ears had ever heard, a punch-you-in-the-eye dose of improvisation and energy.
For two and a half hours I was taken on a journey, and I didn't know where we were heading. My jaw split open and melted on the floor while I laid on my dorm bed. From that moment on, I was hooked. A new Phish fan was born.
This band is like a sports team, except every single year it never loses. Undefeated for the past 40 years, winning a few thousand shows I've missed and all 69 shows I've seen. Nice.
The band's opponent is its own boundaries. It embraces uncertainty. Phish might write a setlist, but they won't follow it. They don't plan which songs to extend with long improvisations. These things unfold live.
"We're bobbing on the surface, and a shadow glides below," a lyric from The Wedge.
During the jams, each band member is on a level playing field, able to contribute ideas at any moment. When one player introduces something new, the rest of the players always agree with their instruments, often causing the music's mood to shift.
A lyric that every fan knows by heart is from the song The Lizards, "The trick was to surrender to the flow."
This idea captures both band members and audience. The players serve the music in the moment, allowing the uncertainty of this intentional style of play to be its leading force. They lean into the unknown and let the music to take them to places they hadn't planned.
Fans adore the band for this very reason. The not-knowing is what's most appealing. A preplanned and predictable setlist with cookie-cutter, restricted jams would be a major letdown. But that's never happened before.
As a drummer and fan, I've personally experienced this from both sides, on and off stage. I know what it's like to lock into a jam, pushing the music forward with no conclusion in mind. My ears are well-trained for this game. Whether my hands and feet add to the music, or if I'm just a part of the sea of listeners, bouncing gently around the room.
This is an act of exploration. It requires focus. You have to block out all the rambling thoughts and pay attention.
"She gave me ideas
Planted the seed
But she never stopped to reflect
The course that she's on, wherever it leads
I never would redirect"
The song Pebbles and Marbles tells of the muse, a character responsible for the elusive nature of a creative act. In the context of improvisation, your only job is to jump on board and allow her to take the lead.
People all around the world love sports, because they don't know what's going to happen next. The unknown keeps eyes glued to the field, the court and the stage. Fans never stop buying tickets and coming back for more.
The last great novel you read, you didn't want to put it down. Every page revealed something unexpected. Getting to know a new friend provides the same feeling. Each time you see them, you read a new chapter.
Following this band changed my life. I wouldn't love travel as much as I do without Phish introducing me to the road and its many surprises.
Traveling without an itinerary accomplishes this goal. Every door is open for me to explore. All options are on the table. I can go anywhere at any time. But no itinerary doesn't mean zero preparation.
Phish might have been the most heavily rehearsed band on Earth during a stretch of years in the 90s. Writing and rehearsing new material, practicing the art of improv five to seven hours per day. This band spent far more time at band practice than it did performing to a live audience every week.
But when they hit the stage, they let go of everything. During a show, their only job is to listen and respond, listen and respond.
This is how I travel. I might research a handful of desired destinations, and I'll mark on my map many more individual stops I'd like to make within each place. But once I'm there, I let go of the pressure to visit each and every spot. I allow my curiosity to lead me around.
Do I make some rigid plans? Of course I do, this is unavoidable at times. But mostly, I try to allow things to happen in the moment.
After wandering for a few hours, I'll hit many of the places I wanted to see without referring to a map. This just happens, it's magic. Your curious brain doesn't need Google to direct it to the most interesting parts of a city. The road will often take you there, but the path will be longer and slower, as you're tuned into the many oddities you'll discover along the way.
I once spent two hours at a coffee shop in Lisbon talking to a barista I'd just met. I didn't even drink coffee. I had an orange juice. I was thirsty, and the tiny place looked interesting from the outside. A long chat with this well-traveled and knowledgeable stranger from Chile was a highlight from that trip.
If I'd been too focused on being as efficient as possible with my time - on the go, go, go - I would've missed out on a conversation that ended up being incredibly important. Juan's suggestions altered my route. I might have skipped over Granada, which became my favorite city in Spain.
Ten minutes into our conversation, I could have stopped it right then, and scooted out the door to visit the next place. But I chose to embrace the music. I jumped on stage and started to play along.
Lean into uncertainty. It can be your best friend, leading you to pleasant surprises. This makes almost anything in life more exciting and rewarding.
Research and prepare.
Then let go.
Listen and respond.
Jam on!
My photo 1: Phish at Madison Square Garden, NYC, 2023.
My photo 2: AlbaicÃn neighborhood streets in Granada, Spain, 2023.