My life is more enjoyable now without alcohol
Why I'm dropping the booze again
I caught eight Phish shows this summer, and I didn't drink at half of them. I saw my Tennessee Vols play a football game in a rowdy sea of orange & white with only one tailgate beer in my tummy. These are my favorite things to do, and I enjoyed them without alcohol, even more than the times I did drink.
Bluegrass rock star Billy Strings is a boozeless guy, and I watched him guest jam with the best band on earth, led by a boozeless Trey Anastasio. It feels good to write these words, and know I was boozeless that night too. Maybe this is my desperate attempt to be more like them. Inevitable next step: wizard guitar skills!
When I drink alcohol now, that dopamine brain blast gives me a buzzy feeling for an hour... and then I get sleepy. I've reached the point where life is more enjoyable with little to zero booze. I've simply lost interest in drinking, and this has been a slow burn, a long time coming for me.
I don't hate it, alcohol is not my enemy, and I won't convince anyone to quit drinking. I'll still go to bars and breweries and fun parties where drinks are in hand in every direction. Do I crave a beer on a warm summer patio? I do, but then I drink a few and wish I hadn't.
Will I have a drink, from time to time, especially on special days? Yes, it's likely I will. I didn't eat meat for three years, but fish in Portugal and goulash in Budapest put it back on my plate. So maybe it's a special travel treat, like a tropical cocktail in Guatemala.
It feels like a little part of me is dying, but I don't mourn it. I'm just watching it go, feeling apathetic, wondering how many drinks I've had. Certainly hundreds, but what about thousands? Probably thousands.
I've gone through some phases of a binge drinker over the years. I drank so much at a wedding that I had to beg a man on my flight home - the next day - to switch seats with me so I could have the aisle in case I got sick. He wouldn't take my two $20 bills, but he did put on a mask. I still think about him sometimes.
In college, I slept on my kitchen floor fully dressed with cowboy boots on. That same year, I left for work one morning and couldn't remember where I parked. When my manager at Guitar Center answered the phone, he couldn't believe I said the words, "Dude where's my car? I can't find my car."
I fell asleep at a bar leaning against a speaker while the band played on. My ability to shit-faced snooze was truly unrivaled. I don't miss those days, but they're funny to think about.
How booze affects me now
Days like that, the over-doing-it, are far behind me. I don't remember the last time I had a wicked hangover. But I do recall not being able to write the next morning, because I had a few drinks at dinner.
Alcohol creates a lingering effect. Drink enough hazy IPAs, and the haze hangs onto my mind for another day or two. I struggle to read, to write, to edit, to focus on the work that I want to be doing.
I've been practicing lately, going to a bar but only drinking my newly beloved soda water. I learned to enjoy this drink from my time in Germany with my friend Janne. Who knew that flavorless sparkling water could be so refreshing? The Euros know.
What the European mind cannot comprehend is doing what I do best - too many Phish shows and Big Orange sportsball - without the beers.
Alcohol enhanced my life for years, so many silly memories with a boozy grin. I'm on the other side of that now. Instead of brightening the good times, it dims them. I want to maximize my enjoyment of life. I want to become a better man, day by day, but booze is blocking that path. I want to be sharper, but drinks are dulling my blade.
What brings me the most joy today is working on projects I believe in, deepening relationships with my closest friends & family, traveling to new places, making new friends and improving my health with the foods I eat and the weights I lift.
My previous sober stint
On a three-month trip to Europe in 2023, I had at least one drink almost every day. I never drank too much, no hangovers. But in my final destination in London, I wasn't myself. I was moody, irritable and hazy-headed.
I felt claustrophobic in a crowded section of London. I had to flee a pub where I was meeting friends, and sat against a brick wall in a secluded alley to catch my breath. This was unlike me, and I later realized it was probably that lingering effect.
I wasn't "burned out" from travel. I wasn't ready to go back home, but I had work lined up for my return. I know that I would've been more like myself in London if I hadn't drank.
On my flight from London back to the States, I decided to quit drinking temporarily. That little while turned into almost four months without a drink, aside from one wildly fun day visiting friends in Chattanooga.
Thanksgiving & Christmas holidays, New Year's Eve in Orlando, not one drink.
In that time, I started writing online and created my YouTube channel. Two things I'd been procrastinating for years finally happened when I avoided alcohol for longer than a week. That ain't a coincidence!
I've never been a nightly drinker, but I have been a weekend warrior. In the last few years, I replaced my weekend hangovers with weekend creative work, weekend workouts and weekend coffee with my mom.
I wonder what might happen after another four months sober? Logan, let's go find out.
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